A recipe not only good for you, but easy. I share this one with baby, in the mornings.
1 cup plain yougurt
1 spoonful of jam
1 spoonful of ground flaxseed
Optional: chopped banana, granola, strawberries, blueberries, anything really.
Honestly I wish I knew this one growing up, I would never have skipped breakfast!!
On another note........YAY!! I've got a camera again!! WO-HOO!! So soon I will resume, posting food, or just anything that interest me enough to pursue.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Must open Mind
I write extemporaneously but sometimes an idea, a picture or a flash of words appear. I'm forced to mull over the topic trying to figure out why might this particular thing comes so insistently to mind. Mother-daughter relationships....is nagging at me waiting to be pulled out of the wool and examined. This topic is weighing heavily on me mostly because my daughters first birthday is coming up...and because my sister and I were remembering the our lives...and my relationship with my mother......
My mother, the woman who bore and born me is irreplaceable. Sometimes I love her beyond measure simply because with one glance she understands me. Yet sometimes I know that she doesn't really know me all. In this particular relationship I've made many rationalizations of why this is. I remember thinking before I knew my punkins sex that I hoped she was a boy. My main reason is that I didn't want to be like my mother was to me. It scared the !@#$ out of me. What if one day I just decided that I was ready to leave!? What if I couldn't be good to her?! Almost two years later this seems silly, I cannot even imagine not loving my child...
I watched her walking today in the sneakers we went hunting for, her first pair ever. Thinking back on that moment has my eyes brimming with tears, shes getting so big. I was shocked to discover all of a sudden, my little lady. I know somewhere in my mind that one day she's gonna break my heart, that shes going to have to deal with the sudden awareness of being alive and sentient, that I'm not always going to be able to soothe her with a distraction until shes better, that one day she'll have her first heartbreak...it's dismal to think of...I may have to come back to this.
My mother, the woman who bore and born me is irreplaceable. Sometimes I love her beyond measure simply because with one glance she understands me. Yet sometimes I know that she doesn't really know me all. In this particular relationship I've made many rationalizations of why this is. I remember thinking before I knew my punkins sex that I hoped she was a boy. My main reason is that I didn't want to be like my mother was to me. It scared the !@#$ out of me. What if one day I just decided that I was ready to leave!? What if I couldn't be good to her?! Almost two years later this seems silly, I cannot even imagine not loving my child...
I watched her walking today in the sneakers we went hunting for, her first pair ever. Thinking back on that moment has my eyes brimming with tears, shes getting so big. I was shocked to discover all of a sudden, my little lady. I know somewhere in my mind that one day she's gonna break my heart, that shes going to have to deal with the sudden awareness of being alive and sentient, that I'm not always going to be able to soothe her with a distraction until shes better, that one day she'll have her first heartbreak...it's dismal to think of...I may have to come back to this.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Live On Very Empty
I've been gone for a bit, blog. Pretending you didn't exist. There were better things to do you see. Recently my birthday passed, the best one so far. I was busy, talking to people, shopping, sharing..living life. It also helped that gramma to baby for a week!! (and the camera) Baby is back..camera is not!! It seems such a shame...I was perfecting something. Anywho.......It's amazing, this transformation that happens anytime baby is not on hand. I become rejuvenated, take care of myself, care about my aesthetic presence. I'm lively, lovely, with intelligent and stimulating conversation......and I actually would take the time to have a conversation. My skin glows and I'm someone interesting...My skin is still glowing a week later....but the nail polish is chipped, I stopped combing my hair, I pull on whatever come to hand and I'm most likely too consumed to talk..though it is getting easier. I'm hoping by age three I will pull these two selves together. Or sooner. I had so much to write, I thought. Hmmn.
Monday, March 7, 2011
My education dire, I oughta cafefully resume earnestly!
Another year passing! I'm getting stagnant. I have the same woes I've always had. I don't always feel whole. I'm ineffectual. Cautious. I'll fight for what I believe in but earnestly my beliefs aren't overly controversial....more rational. I'm not making an impact on this world, but for my offspring how will I be remembered. Surely blogging isn't it...especially since I'm not yet proficient at that.....Alas, what will I do?
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Today Is Macabre
Yet it was beautiful. The perfect mix of warmth and moisture. The air smelled like moist earth, its almost time for this part of the world to shake off its winter coat and slip into bloom! Waking up I started to hear birds again. I cannot wait for summer.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Not One Single Yes
Baby and I have resumed our walks, she still has a stuffy nose and the weather isn't quite spring but I know it's good for us. I try to spend at least a half hour walking outside, sometimes there is a destination and more often we wander. Today I was feeling a bit tired so we meandered uphill both ways to Starbucks in search of a perk. As I sat down with my coffee and baby with her bottle I couldn't help overhearing the conversation of two people I soon learned were physicists. I don't know if they just happened upon each other or if it was a prearranged meeting but from their conversation and her body language I could tell they didn't know each other well. I let Persephone down so she could explore a bit as is her wont..and so I could take a few uninterrupted sips of my coffee. Under my ever vigilant watch my daughter wandered over to the two. They stopped and politely said their "Hi's" and "Wow, how old is she, she's so well behaved, etc." I politely answered and steered my little pumpkin back to her bottle. While I was doing this the two started down another train of conversation, this time the topic was children.
She asked him if he had kids, he said no he doesn't like them and went into the specifics of why he didn't like them. Persephone decided that this was an opportune time to play fetch...as a parent you may know this game..Child throws toy-->someone picks said toy/item up and this is repeated until one party decides the game has run its course. It's never the child! But to the topic at hand, this kind gent picks up her bottle and I thank him and put it down. The woman asks me, "Aren't you going to give it back?" I say, "No." She makes this sad puppy face (that was particularly unexceptional on her..middle aged mug) and says, "It's a game." At this point I tell her, "Baby dropped it because she's bored and does not want it."
From there it got a bit confusing, baby was wiggling, two women came in... who knew the one who was talking to me, and the man sat down very near to me. Basically they formed a circle around me and the little one. The two biddies that just arrived were exclaiming over baby, the woman physicist was tut tutting me, and trying to convey to me that baby doesn't know better and that the fetch game is a game...I started to feel attacked, reproved, like I was somehow doing something wrong. Also I felt judged by my physical appearance, age, color. She made comments like, "Well, when you're raising a child alone, you can start to feel like she's misbehaving on purpose."
Whoa! What? I managed to convey that I don't feel like she's misbehaving but that I'm not playing with her. I knew what the next action would be if I returned the bottle and I wasn't interested in playing this game so I would redirect her attention elsewhere. While the male completely understood what I was saying, the woman still seemed reproving.
I should have mentioned that I am not a single parent, that you cannot judge my economic standing by my style of dress..(I'll admit to running out of the house looking rather..ragged)..MOSTLY I REGRET not saying.. *Bitch, you don't know me!! Mind yer bumboclat business, Do you have kids? Have you raised anyone from the day they came out of your body? Is this why you're meeting men at Starbucks asking them if they want children? HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR FACE, or your juice box figure? I can make a snap assessment of your life based simply on outward appearances and boy it's not pleasant*...At that point the male took out a cookie and the women started talking amongst themselves. Mind you, this was in a matter of moments, they we're still saying, "Hello's." I didn't want Sephy to see the cookie (she believes all food is hers) so I excused myself and we left.
As we were walking home, I began to feel...well, upset. Mostly because, my child IS well behaved..and she didn't come out like that. It's a process! Sephy held and drank her bottle the whole way home...without tossing it!
To conclude, what I took from this is a bit of knowledge, everyone says it, but it bears repeating!!! I am the parent, I know whats best for MY child! Like any unwanted or even wanted advice it's best to listen to all and make up your own mind...and Stay Polite..out loud..
She asked him if he had kids, he said no he doesn't like them and went into the specifics of why he didn't like them. Persephone decided that this was an opportune time to play fetch...as a parent you may know this game..Child throws toy-->someone picks said toy/item up and this is repeated until one party decides the game has run its course. It's never the child! But to the topic at hand, this kind gent picks up her bottle and I thank him and put it down. The woman asks me, "Aren't you going to give it back?" I say, "No." She makes this sad puppy face (that was particularly unexceptional on her..middle aged mug) and says, "It's a game." At this point I tell her, "Baby dropped it because she's bored and does not want it."
From there it got a bit confusing, baby was wiggling, two women came in... who knew the one who was talking to me, and the man sat down very near to me. Basically they formed a circle around me and the little one. The two biddies that just arrived were exclaiming over baby, the woman physicist was tut tutting me, and trying to convey to me that baby doesn't know better and that the fetch game is a game...I started to feel attacked, reproved, like I was somehow doing something wrong. Also I felt judged by my physical appearance, age, color. She made comments like, "Well, when you're raising a child alone, you can start to feel like she's misbehaving on purpose."
Whoa! What? I managed to convey that I don't feel like she's misbehaving but that I'm not playing with her. I knew what the next action would be if I returned the bottle and I wasn't interested in playing this game so I would redirect her attention elsewhere. While the male completely understood what I was saying, the woman still seemed reproving.
I should have mentioned that I am not a single parent, that you cannot judge my economic standing by my style of dress..(I'll admit to running out of the house looking rather..ragged)..MOSTLY I REGRET not saying.. *Bitch, you don't know me!! Mind yer bumboclat business, Do you have kids? Have you raised anyone from the day they came out of your body? Is this why you're meeting men at Starbucks asking them if they want children? HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR FACE, or your juice box figure? I can make a snap assessment of your life based simply on outward appearances and boy it's not pleasant*...At that point the male took out a cookie and the women started talking amongst themselves. Mind you, this was in a matter of moments, they we're still saying, "Hello's." I didn't want Sephy to see the cookie (she believes all food is hers) so I excused myself and we left.
As we were walking home, I began to feel...well, upset. Mostly because, my child IS well behaved..and she didn't come out like that. It's a process! Sephy held and drank her bottle the whole way home...without tossing it!
To conclude, what I took from this is a bit of knowledge, everyone says it, but it bears repeating!!! I am the parent, I know whats best for MY child! Like any unwanted or even wanted advice it's best to listen to all and make up your own mind...and Stay Polite..out loud..
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I must not be actually human.
Therefore I must not have actual human emotions. Thus no human reaction to human interaction. So I'm not actually hurting because that would be a human thing to do. I'm reflecting on the hurt. Dissecting injuries. Unease gnawing at my stomach, it could be anything.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Natural Hair
So for a while I'd been toying with the thought of not using chemicals in my life. Toying isn't quite the right way of describing this. It's been mounting and hopefully the product of my thoughts will be a happy wholesome lifestyle.
For now I've stopped using shampoo and conditioner. Since I'd cut my hair about a month ago I decided to stick to a vinegar conditioner and a baking soda shampoo....it has been a struggle! From what I've read the first three weeks are the hardest. That being the time where your hair and scalp are rebelling from the loss of the shampoo's chemicals that strip it of natural oils and the replacement chemicals of so called conditioner. It's ugly, unmanageable and gross...but I'm sticking!!
Today to combat the dry coarse texture as well as my poor itchy dry scalp, I mixed the juice from half a lemon and an egg...as I write I am sitting in a sunny nook waiting for the twenty minutes to pass till my hair is nourished again..I may follow this up with some honey..
some useful articles on the topic..
Eight Hair Care Treatments You Can Do At Home
An Experiment In Giving Up Shampoo
Some Support
The Result:
It feels terrible, I could not comb through hair with fingers when wet. There were pieces of lemon stuck to strands of hair. Now that it's mostly dry it feels conditioned and smells pleasant. I will follow up with honey and perhaps some olive oil until the moisture is balanced again.
For now I've stopped using shampoo and conditioner. Since I'd cut my hair about a month ago I decided to stick to a vinegar conditioner and a baking soda shampoo....it has been a struggle! From what I've read the first three weeks are the hardest. That being the time where your hair and scalp are rebelling from the loss of the shampoo's chemicals that strip it of natural oils and the replacement chemicals of so called conditioner. It's ugly, unmanageable and gross...but I'm sticking!!
Today to combat the dry coarse texture as well as my poor itchy dry scalp, I mixed the juice from half a lemon and an egg...as I write I am sitting in a sunny nook waiting for the twenty minutes to pass till my hair is nourished again..I may follow this up with some honey..
some useful articles on the topic..
Eight Hair Care Treatments You Can Do At Home
An Experiment In Giving Up Shampoo
Some Support
The Result:
It feels terrible, I could not comb through hair with fingers when wet. There were pieces of lemon stuck to strands of hair. Now that it's mostly dry it feels conditioned and smells pleasant. I will follow up with honey and perhaps some olive oil until the moisture is balanced again.
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